If someone asked you whether it was alright to fantasize about someone, even though you were in love (and had been for a long time) with a stable partner, what would your answer be?
I had this question asked of me the other night. My answer was that if it was simply a fantasy, and never acted upon, I thought it perfectly natural. I suppose though if that fantasy took up all of my waking hours, that it might not be so healthy but we all have them. It is also necessary to share these things with your partner.
Some have desires for fame, money and, of course, of a sexual nature. It is part of human nature to have these thoughts and I don't think that having a partner makes us any less susceptible to them. I would expect that partner to be honest about it with me and then we can both feel work together to understand it.
The problem is that sometimes people don't want to hear that their "other half" desires someone else. They get the thought in their head that maybe they aren't as desirable as they had been. I mean why would the partner desire someone else other than for the reason that they were bored or didn't care about them any more. The funny thing is that I don't think that this is the case when people have these fantasies.
The truth is, we can all get into a rut. We want excitement and to have the same thing night after night does not facilitate that very well. Even if you have the same very expensive and tasty dinner every night, you will still get bored with it. It's just human nature.
I think that we have to be honest about our fantasies. If not, we are submerging these feelings and are more likely to act on them for real. If it were me, I would want to share these things with a partner. Who knows, it might be fun to work on it together...
What do YOU think?
I had this question asked of me the other night. My answer was that if it was simply a fantasy, and never acted upon, I thought it perfectly natural. I suppose though if that fantasy took up all of my waking hours, that it might not be so healthy but we all have them. It is also necessary to share these things with your partner.
Some have desires for fame, money and, of course, of a sexual nature. It is part of human nature to have these thoughts and I don't think that having a partner makes us any less susceptible to them. I would expect that partner to be honest about it with me and then we can both feel work together to understand it.
The problem is that sometimes people don't want to hear that their "other half" desires someone else. They get the thought in their head that maybe they aren't as desirable as they had been. I mean why would the partner desire someone else other than for the reason that they were bored or didn't care about them any more. The funny thing is that I don't think that this is the case when people have these fantasies.
The truth is, we can all get into a rut. We want excitement and to have the same thing night after night does not facilitate that very well. Even if you have the same very expensive and tasty dinner every night, you will still get bored with it. It's just human nature.
I think that we have to be honest about our fantasies. If not, we are submerging these feelings and are more likely to act on them for real. If it were me, I would want to share these things with a partner. Who knows, it might be fun to work on it together...
What do YOU think?
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